Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
