Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
i think im in europe. pls send help
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
