did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Did I show you my penis last night?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
