I'll bet she douches with gravy.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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