let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
