sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
