playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
