That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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