Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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