the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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