Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
