No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
