big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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