You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
