yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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