this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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