So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
