The beer is more important than you right now.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
The convent might be a nice break from real life
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
