I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
