one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
