and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Randomize