So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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