I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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