I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
