I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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