He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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