I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Randomize
