This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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