You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
