ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
