I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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