in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
