The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
