Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
