i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize