soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
