can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Randomize
