This show inspires me to have sex in space
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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