A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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