the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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