If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
