I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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