I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
