Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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