Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
