are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
