I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
