I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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