I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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