Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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