i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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