Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
