help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
